“The Rise of Women Does Not Mean The Fall of Men”
When I started writing this blog post my intention was to discuss emotional maturity. One definition I found for this term was:
“Emotional maturity is defined as how well you are able to respond to situations, control your emotions and behave in an adult manner when dealing with others”.
On a personal front, emotional maturity is something that I continually strive towards when dealing with people and situations however I do appreciate that it really does take a lot to rise above some of your life experiences and also to not allow them to dictate your future actions.
Naturally when you think about emotional maturity you typically relate it to a romantic relationships; possibly because it is one of the most distinct forms of relationships which has significant ramifications for the course of your life.
My personal opinion on the ‘Men Are Trash’ movement is that it is something that has been borne not only from the disdain and built up resentment certain women feel/have felt towards men but also due to:
- A lack of emotional maturity from men in situations; and
- A lack of emotional maturity in the women as it pertains to dealing with situations they have been through with men
I am not in any way dismissing their emotions, the patriarchal structures and the negative effects they can and do have on women; however men can not solely be blamed without placing some blame on society and the institutions that have contributed to them being the way that they are.
To say men are trash implies a few things:
- That ultimately all men are trash including your father, grandfather and any other positive male figures in your life. If you genuinely believe that your father is trash then you are entitled to your own opinion, however if you deem him not to be trash, then ….
- It denies a group of men of the praise they deserve for treating women how they deserve to be treated. It not only eradicates the influence of men who are allies to the feminist cause, it also ignores men that appreciate the power in women and uplift them at any given opportunity.
- It to an extent absolves women of responsibility for their actions and contributions to the deterioration of a relationship – nobody is perfect and sometimes rather than blaming the man because it is the easiest thing to do, we must take the time to reflect in ourselves about what we may have done wrong? How we will learn from this? And what changes will we make within ourselves going forward.
As women we have to tap into our inner strength and not let the things men may have done to us project a form of bitter energy and emotional distress. It is also not productive to call out a group of men who may be exhibiting trash behaviours without expressing solutions on ways in which they can work on their emotional intelligence/emotional maturity and other areas which are stopping them from maximising their full potential in and out of a relationship.
We can’t save them all, but open dialogue about the expectations we have of men and the things we would like to see them do and not do is an active step in the right direction rather than continual berating which almost serves to perpetuate the problem.
Drop me a comment with your views on this topic xo